When I write, I generally write from either personal experience or observing others personal experiences that have deeply affected or impacted my own life.
I write for therapeutic reasoning, for self-expression, for others to find relation here in my writing...
My aim is not to hurt, my aim is not to violate...but my experiences are something that I do feel a desire to share.
My mother never cared much for it, but I've been this way my entire life. She has always said, "Kayleigh will be Kayleigh and no one can stop her."
Which was true...until it wasn't. There were all of these years, so many of them there were, in fact...where I was not Kayleigh and people could stop me...and very easily.
I grew up feeling so ostracized that I began altering myself to the liking of others. In school, I was "weird," I was "crazy," and I was "different." There were so many labels and none of them ever made me feel good about myself.
I didn't fit into any specific clique because everyone was scared to be my friend at the expense of what others would say. I cannot tell you how many dozens of long, inspiring emails I received AFTER I graduated from peers admitting that they had secretly always wanted to be closer to me and I had on occasion even changed someones life, (in their own words.), etc.
When I received these messages at various points in a three year period...I began to see a bit more clearly, but undoing years of rejection was obviously going to take a lot more than a dozen emails.
It has taken me at least five years to fully recover from being bullied, made fun of, and even early on bits of physical abuse...five years to squash that fear of being sincere, that fear of being myself.
Reading this, if you are one who has found yourself close to me, you may be thinking "hmm, I've not known you to hold back too terribly much," and even when I wasn't necessarily holding back much...I was in ways that were not visible...and I was always concerned whether my behavior or my thoughts or my writing or my lyrics or anything that belonged to me, that I created, that I owned, that I reflected or exuded...was "normal," was "okay," was "worthy."
Until now...
This will likely only mean something wonderful to me...but I have found my voice again, I wear what I want, when I want without the concern, I dance how I dance, I sing how I sing, I write how I write, I speak how I speak, I love how I love.. as hard and deeply and as much as I want to, I want what I want, do what I do, I am what I am...and in most cases, there will be little to no editing, little warning, and seldom an apology on behalf of me (unless I've done something I know has hurt someone or I've done something that I deem morally corrupt.)

Anyway, as the growth continues, I will continue to blog or journal about it... and any regression will likely be notated, too. This allows me to see that I am, at the very least, always striving.

As always, thank you for reading and please always be, be, be who you be.
:o)